Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Voting Machine - a classic entry retold

I thought that I had lost all evidence that I ever did this when my last computer and a previous blog came up with a sudden case of death. During my time in Benson, NC, I would routinely drive my lawn mower down the road to a convenience store after taking care of the lawn on a hot day for a refreshing beverage. When I noticed that, for the 2004 election, my polling place was just a few doors down from that convenience store, I decided that I would also take my mower to vote. Hence, the Voting Machine.

My Voting Machine showing off where my vote was going, I was off...

Now, the route I took to the convenience store was on a nice, mostly untraveled section of Benson where I could ride into a side entrance to the store(which faced the much more-traveled Highway 301). Getting to my polling place involved taking a left turn off of that untraveled road into four lanes of Highway 301.

My strategy was to wait for a lull in traffic coming from my left and boogie down 301 on the wrong side of the road in 5th gear into the next parking lot and wait until I could repeat the process. Finally, I got to my polling spot. First order of business, play hide & seek among the campaign signs with the Voting Machine.

Then it was time to find parking. Fortunately, I found a spot nice and close to the door. An older woman who had just cast her vote looked squarely at the Kerry/Edwards sign on the Voting Machine and asked "What are those doing on that. She wasn't surprised to see the mower in the parking lot, just the support the mower showed for a candidate that wasn't a rare combination of arrogant, evil, and incompetent.

Voting completed, I drove the mower back home. I was going the correct way on Highway 301 heading back home, which made for an easier trip but irritated the hell out of the few drivers unfortunate enough to get behind me before I could get to the convenience store parking lot. Once home, I drove the Voting Machine into the creepy shed behind my house to wait for the next election. Of course, by the time that came around, I was no longer living in a house with a yard I needed to take care of and my dad had taken custody of the voting machine.

Still, one day, I hope to be able to bring it out of retirement.

1 comment:

benthomasson said...

Truly, an epic story of civilian courage.