Thursday, August 9, 2007

uncle chuck

Another tale from ACS. This one comes from my time served as co-host of the talent show this year. In the midst of expressions of faith, shows of talent, and explosions of "hey, look at me!" from the ACS'ers in front of a couple hundred of their closest friends, it was my job to stand in front of the curtain and stall while setups were changed and keep the troops entertained.

I had been on a pretty good tear rotating with co-host James when I had to stall for longer than I wanted to and launched a series of clunkers that left the crowd silent. I got backstage, where Ken Hall patted me on the back and said "you cloud always tell some Chuck Norris jokes."

Those jokes' time has passed, though. However, the theme of the week had been the title of a hymn written by Methodist legend Charles Wesley, who had been called "Uncle Chuck" during worship on more than a few occasions. I had my idea, and began scribbling down some facts about Uncle Chuck Wesley. Here they are for those of you who, like newest all-star Emily Farnell, consider yourselves Methodist nerds:

"How Great Thou Art" is actually about Uncle Chuck's hobby as a sculptor.

There isn't an instrument that can measure the ratings of Wesley: Georgia Ranger.

Chuck Wesley has 1,000 tongues...and sings with all of them.

Uncle Chuck urges us to Rejoice the Lord is King. Why RE-joice? Because Uncle Chuck already joiced it.

Uncle Chuck Wesley wrote between 6,000 and 8,000 hymns, the pilot for "Two-and-a-half Men," and produced "Flavor of Love."

Methodists don't laugh, we Chuckle.

Uncle Chuck wrote half of the Methodist hymnal and the 8th Harry Potter book.

Behind 1,000 of Uncle Chuck's hymns are another 1,000 hymns.

Uncle Chuck wrote the perfect song...twice.

Chuck Wesley is so awesome that we named all of our bathrooms after his brother John.

Uncle Chuck Wesley's tears can cure Baptists...but Uncle Chuck never cries.

...and the crowd went wild.