Wednesday, November 30, 2005

this couldn't even wait until december?

I have something important that I need to say to some of my fellow Christians.

Christmas is not under attack. The Baby Jesus is just fine. Please shut up. It's not even December 1st yet and I have to hear sound bites of Bill O'Reilly talking about how the liberals and the "secular media" (Is there a religious media? I mean other than the 700 Club...ewww) is trying to take down Christmas. And you know what? When I thought it was O'Reilly just being O'Reilly and wanting to talk about anything other than approval ratings and the disaster in Iraq, I didn't care.

It's found its way into my local newpapers and now I'm in serious danger of rolling my eyes right out of my head. Are we really going to fight over whether or call it a Christmas Tree or a Holiday Tree? Are we going to whine over manger scenes being taken down in public buildings? Why?

I've listened to people lament the loss of prayer in school(we had no school-wide prayer, but I managed to pray just fine when the spirit moved me) and blast the idea of removing "under God" from the pledge of allegiance(which is fine with me because pledging my allegiance to an inanimate object always seemed a teensy bit like idolatry anyway...noodle that one over for a second) for too long. Now we get "Chirstmas is under attack" to add to the list of things that make the Christian faith seem more a collection of idiots than a people of faith. Because of the renaming of a tree? Because there's a big, glowing snowman instead of a big, glowing star?

Folks, the reason people aren't turning to Jesus is not because they've never heard of him. It's more likely because they don't want to be associated with people who think the removal of a Ten Commandments statue is a sign that satan is taking a stranglehold on these here United States.

Now. Let me talk to the person that is actually offended by a Baby Jesus in front of a Courthouse. To that group of folks that feel as though they need to crusade against lawn decorations. To those who give ammo to whack-job Christians that aren't happy unless they feel they're being persecuted. You. Aren't. Any. Better. Hearing Silent Night at your local high school's winter concert is no more forcing Christianity down your throats than watching their Spring production of Grease is forcing Scientology down your throat. A Christmas tree with a wise man ornament in front of a government building is not an attempt to marry church to state. It's a decoration. Lighten up.

And here's my real problem. I don't know whose side to take in the "War on Christmas" because both sides are full of idiots who are either too easily offended or trying to make a point that doesn't need to be made by either side. So I am not going to boycot a store that wishes me a Happy Holidays instead of a Merry Christmas. But I am also not going to boycot a store that's playing Hark! The Herald Angels Sing over their PA system, either.

Merry Christmas.

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

this makes my cereal taste bad

I watch Sportscenter with my breakfast. On a good day, I see some kind of ultra-amazing play and then try to explain to Andi why I think that Dwayne Wade's spinning reverse layup was so freaking awesome.

On a bad day, I get fake baseball GM press conferences. The fine folks at is worth checking out at least twice daily) hit the majority of my objections to this nonsense in the linked article and an earlier entry. But I do have a few extra gripes of my own.

They spend the first half of each Sportscenter hyping the thing as if it's a real news conference, complete with reporters sitting around and waiting. Lame.

NHL games have their highlight reels cut down to that one goal a guy scored so there's room in the broadcast for this nonsense. Very lame.

I don't want to hear about baseball until something notable happens. These conferences aren't about something notable happening. They're not even about predicting anything notable will happen. In the meantime, there's sports actually happening. NHL, NBA, NFL(although another story about the ongoing T.O. saga may cause me to choke on my Crispy Hexagons in disgust) are all in season. In the meantime, Sportscenter is giving fake news conferences that offer absolutely no new information or insight into a sport that's in it's offseason. Hyper-lame.

I don't think even baseball fans want to see this. Maybe there were two or three people that got into the Yankees' fake press conference. Possibly, there was one guy who was bored enough to find the Red Sox conference worth watching. But, honestly, by the time you get to the Brewers' conference you may have a popular revolt on your hands. So stop it. Stop it now.