Tuesday, May 19, 2009

the reasons that brett favre must come back

Of late, every breath of the hated Brett Favre has been reported upon by all sports media. Nationally and locally. Television, internet, radio, smoke signals...you can't get away from hearing about Favre. We're just shy of a story where people speculate upon the meaning of Favre's breakfast:

"The key isn't so much that he had pancakes, but that he had blueberry pancakes - once again indicating a strong intrest in playing quarterback for the Vikings."

"How's that?"

"Well, blueberries - especially when cooked into a pancake - are actually more purple in color than blue. Naturally, since the Minnesota Vikings wear purple..."


But an end to the inane speculation isn't why I want Favre in a Vikings uniform as soon as possible. After all, if Favre does decide to play football again this season, it mearly means we'll have to play "will he/won't he" in the next NFL offseason as well. Here are the actual reasons for Favre to get back on the field:

1) Consider the record. As you may have heard me point out before once or twice, Brett Favre has thrown more interceptions than any other quarterback in the NFL's history. That said, I wouldn't mind him padding that stat just to make sure that a player I have absolutely no love, admiration, or even basic human respect for always has that distinction. And if he's throwing the ball to the other team a lot in a Vikings uniform? Well, that only helps the Bears, doesn't it?

2) On the field means not in the booth. I hadn't considered this, but I heard on the ol' radio this morning that Brett Favre would consider a broadcast job. His only reluctance to get into the booth is that he doesn't want to wear a tie (they apparently don't go with his Wranglers), which the Monday Night gig he was apparently rumored to be considered for would require. Still, there's no shortage of people bending over backwards for this guy, so allowing him to drop the tie wouldn't be that big a deal. This guy mustn't...HE. MUST. NOT...be allowed anywhere near an NFL broadcast with a live mic. Between the accent, the almost certain constant self-promotion, and the awkard transitions (a man with this many INT's in his career would probably mess up "throwing it down to the field" so a sideline reporter can ask a horrid and obvious question); it could cripple the NFL's broadcasting.

3) I want to record the reaction he gets the first time he steps on to The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field wearing purple and watch it over and over and over again.

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