i did not, however, fist bump my wife

Generally speaking, I have a strong dislike for reading about people's dreams in their blogs followed by their own strange interpretation of what their subconscious must be trying to tell them with it. So if you don't want to read any further, I hold no grudge.

I had a dream last night that I had done everything I ever wanted to do and was receiving awards for my efforts. Instead of making up weird people like I normally do, this had my real friends and my real family congratulating me and beaming with pride. I was successful, loved what I was doing, and the dream was strong enough that I had very real memories flooding through my head as I thanked all of the relevant people.

Waking up to an early AM call that turned out to be a wrong number is normally annoying enough. Being pulled from that and into my current professional state by an early AM call that turned out to be a wrong number was truly a kick in the pants, though. I'm going to be messed up over that for at least until lunch...

maybe mandy moore makes you smarter, somehow

I'm tired of being in awe of Roger Federer(and talking heads all over the sports world feel as though his awsomeness is beginning to fade...), Rafael Nadal is worthless on any surface that isn't for pansies, Andy Roddick has all the talent in the world but suffers from major damage between the ears, and (as much as it hurts to say it) James Blake just doesn't have the tools to ever really get the job done.

That's why I'm only half way paying any attention to Wimbledon, in spite of my long-standing contention that it's the best two weeks of sports in any given year.

Thought you'd like to know.

Jesus probably wouldn't want me to punch james dobson, but i still really want to

So Andi just forwarded this little tidbit from the AP my way. It's about a response from noted destroyer of the Christian faith James Dobson to some well-reasoned thinking out loud from Barack Obama.

"Even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools?" Obama said. "Would we go with James Dobson's or Al Sharpton's?" referring to the civil rights leader.

Dobson took aim at examples Obama cited in asking which Biblical passages should guide public policy — chapters like Leviticus, which Obama said suggests slavery is OK and eating shellfish is an abomination, or Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, "a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application."

"Folks haven't been reading their Bibles," Obama said.

Yep. Pretty much. But this is old news. Stuff people like me have been saying for years to those who want to teach hatred as a Christian value because that's how they interpret certain sections of the Bible while ignoring all of the passages where, say, Jesus calls on us to help the poor. Or treat one another with kindness. Or act on our faith through the display of compassion and love. Or not calling anyone profane when God has made them clean.

All that stuff must be "fruitcake interpretations" of the Bible, just like Obama's "fruitcake interpretation" of the Constitution which apparently has all kinds of stuff about abortion in it, according to Dobson. And he'd be right if he weren't so very utterly wrong. Again.

But that's not even the kicker. Here's the most offensive thing he said:

"I think [Obama is] deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology," Dobson said.

"... He is dragging biblical understanding through the gutter."

This isn't even the pot calling the kettle black. This is the pot calling the kettle a #*@%ing pot. Dobson is the one hunting and pecking obscure passages out of their context for an agenda of hate. Dobson is the one distorting Christian values and traditions in the name of keeping women as property rather than people. Dobson is the one chasing a lot of people away from Christianity with his rejection of intellectual study and interpretation of the very book he's trying to beat us over the head with because that would challenge his worldview and his own confused theology(if you can call the nonsense that comes out of his mouth "theology.")

I'm literally ill right now. I'm so angry that my stomach has turned sideways and I might just throw up. This man has turned the Christian Faith, my faith, into a hate group and a punchline. In the meantime, not nearly enough of us are standing up to announce that this "preacher" doesn't speak for us or our faith. We have to start and start soon, because I can't take this much longer.

cardboard signs sporting hair jokes to come to the RBC Center a few times a year

Barry Melrose is set to become the Tampa Bay Lightning's head coach. I assume he's only leaving his broadcasting spot because he finally realized that ESPN thinks hockey is kind of a joke.

I'm actually pretty happy that Melrose is returning to the sport. I would rather he signed on with some team out west rather than someone in the Southeast Division that's been underachieving for a few seasons now, but I think it can only be good for the NHL to have Melrose involved with one of their teams, as this is an off-season move that a causal fan can react to that doesn't involve the drafting of a player with a familiar-sounding name.

Given that Melrose will be heading up the 'Ning, though, I hope he understands that I wish him nothing but the most miserable of failures in his new gig.